"Mahirap bang maging Ate?!"

While we're on our way to the convenient store nights ago, my cousin asked me this "Ate Nikki, mahirap ba maging ate?" "Hindi naman" I replied to her confidently. When I was about to take a trip to dreamland, I can't help but thought deeply about the question Korene (my cousin) asked me. Mahirap nga ba maging ate?! I asked myself again. 

Mahirap nga ba?! Well, I get used to the idea that somehow I have to be responsible and giving since I am the eldest kid in the family. I am my Mom's and Dad's first born. I am my Lolo's and Lola's first grand child (maternal side). Growing up, my parents instilled in me that I have to responsible all the time. Because I am the "Ate" I have to look after my younger siblings. When we're in grade school, I am assigned to do some chores. Dish washing is my forte. I can wash tons of plates without resting. Trust me! =) At a young age, they also taught me to be generous with my siblings. Ate should always make "palamang" to her younger sibs. If there's one cookie left in the jar and my sister and I both want it, Ate should give the last cookie to the young one. My parents always remind us not be selfish, especially with each other. My Mom says that no matter what happens we should not bring each other down rather the three of us should always look for each other's welfare. 

On the other hand, being the first grandchild in my mother's side, I bear the same responsibilities. Every time the whole family is around and the yayas are out, I help out with the chores. My usual station is of course the SINK! washing all the used plates. Mind you, we have a big family so imagine the number of plates we all have to wash after each meal. HAHAHA! :P We take turns with the chores, since most of us are teenagers (ehem!!!). Aside from the chores, being the "ate", I have to be objective all the time. Their's first before mine :)

I won't be hypocrite. There are times that I hate having those responsibilities. Well, in our culture, first born should be the responsible one, the role model type and the one who always understands. My Uncle once told me to try to be objective all the time. Understanding each differences can also be tiring. 

Now, I ask myself again, mahirap nga ba maging ate?! Oo mahirap! you're expected to be good at all times. you're expected to be the one who always understand. Mahirap maging Ate! Mahirap man, fulfilling din sa pakiramdam kapag nagagampanan mo ng tama ang role mo as the eldest kid. Wala na naman akong magagawa ako ang ate, what I need to do is make sure that I can be the best example. Mahirap pero fulfilling, yun na :P