As a kid, I always dreamed of being a journalist. My mom taught me to read pretty much before I started going to a formal school. By the time that I'm in my first year in school, I already know how to read :) I remember when I was 5 instead of playing with the other kids in the subdivision where we lived in, you can find me at our room or at the garage holding a fairy tale pocket book, reading. Yes, at 5, that's what I do. By the time I was in pre-school, my Mom handed me a Manila Bulletin and let me read it. She got tired of buying children books cause I got a lot of it already. My Mom thought its about time to step up and instead of handing me another fairy tale book, she then gave me a copy of a broadsheet! LOL!
I cannot vividly remember how and when did I realized that I wanted to be a journalist. All I know was back in grade school I have been actively participating in the school paper. Joined journalism contests several times. I don't know what with media that fascinates me, but what's clear with me, is that someday I wanna be like "Korina Sanchez", Karen Davila or even Maria Ressa :)) I even remember writing an editorial for random shits that came in my mind before. HAHAHA! By the time I entered high school, that childhood dream is still with me. I even got more active in extra curricular activities way back in High School, participated in several debate competitions, essay writing contest and hosted school events such as Prom and other parties.To sum it all, I love talking in front of the crowd. Sure I got nervous at first but after getting the hang of things, the stage, the podium and the lapel become my comfort zone!
While my friends and classmates are undecided of what course to take in college, I'm pretty sure of what I want to do in the next four years of my student life, I am sure I want to be a journalist, I want to study Journalism at UP! Though my academic standing is not that impressive, my idealistic side say otherwise. I took the guts to take the UPCAT, though I know that passing that freaking college entrance exam is next to impossible. I still keep my hopes high. I perfectly know that considering our financial standing, my parents wouldn't be able to send me to another university other than UP. So if I really want to pursue my childhood dream then by any miracle there is, I have to pass the UPCAT! Results came in and as expected, I did not make the cut. Asa pa ko! Pero kasi yun lang talaga ang meron ako, ASA :D By that time I know I have to let go of my dream. I graduated from high school. Entered the same university for college but this time, I totally ditched my childhood dream of being a JOURNALIST!
College had been good to me. Good, is even an understatement, I should say it had been extremely good to me! I call my college years, my golden age as a student. Though I took a completely different path compared to what I've been dreaming of since I was 7, I manage to pull off my academic standing. I studied business for four years, finished school with flying colors.
Now that I am out in the real world, I have a lot of questions in mind. Did I make the right decision of not pirsuing what I'm really passionate about?! Why am I here?! Am I sure this is what I want to do?! I'm happy yes, I met new people, new friends and I'm learning from them as well. Its just that I have those moments where I ask myself, am I genuinely happy? What's next?! and I'm having that moment now.
One thing is for sure as of now, my childhood dream has to wait a little longer, I got a bigger role to play as daughter and a sister. I got bigger responsibilities. Maybe in the next few years, that dream wouldn't be just a dream, little by little I'll find where I should be. And by then I will feel genuinely happy :D
To my first love, Journalism, time to completely let go!!! Painful and frightening, but if I hold on to that dream longer, then I know I may miss something else. Thanks for the inspiration you have given me all these years, I may not have all these things now if not for the motivation I got from my childhood dream. It may sound corny, but if I'm meant to be one, by any chance fate will let me be one. Time to become an adult now, game face! The world is waiting ......... :)
